I wish things weren’t so difficult, I just want to be able to say hey let’s go to bed and it happen or whatever but it always turns into some stupid ridiculous bullshit fight and I just can’t keep dealing with it. I have no idea what to do but it fucking needs to stop cause I just can’t do it.
I don’t do posts like this really but I felt like why not, I just honestly haven’t been this happy in a long time, I know some earlier posts may contradict this but not everything is perfect and anger issues don’t help, sometimes just bitching makes you feel better. But in a serious note I really am happier than I ever have been before, having someone who cares for you more than anything is amazing and just having a person who is there for me and isn’t turned away because of my anger problems or my emotional issues or any weird random things that pop into my head, it means the world to me and the thought that soon I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I love most, I couldn’t ask for any more
I’m so sick of this, this is the biggest case of damned if you do damned if you don’t. You think you’re the only one with worried, I’m fucking worried too. Worried that this is going to turn into a 3 day fight cause I know it will. Worried that I’m going to say something that means nothing to me that will send them spiraling into depression for no good reason. I am fucking walking on thin ice, there’s no rhyme or reason to any of this, if there was I could deal with it. There is no reason things need to be this fucking complicated and I’m sick of it. I turn into a heartless bastard because I don’t act like I’m sad. I don’t act like I’m sad cause I know you fucking need me to be strong, that weak togetger shit is bullshit, especially because I do know you, I know you need me to be strong for you. Why can’t I just get some fucking break. You mean the most to me in the world but I haven’t said it exactly 7,321 times so it must not be true. Fuck!
No matter what I seem to do I end up turning into the bad guy, I can do everything I’m told and still end up being the asshole by the end of it, it feels like I have an ultimatum to make, and I don’t want to, I guess I’m just going to go play something to take my mind off, although I guess that means I’ll just be ignoring everything apparently